Liisa Caimano (dntamth@sfsu.edu)
Tue, 12 May 1998 17:49:59 -0700
One more time, just in case anyone missed it (David!) because it really
*is* too funny to miss!
>Liisa Caimano wrote:
>>
>> I've got a problem. Not too much of one, but a problem none the less: my
roommate hates Press Gang.
>
> You've probably had ample responses to this by now, but I'm only just
>wading through my email after a busy week so what the hey, I'll respond.
> Firstly, and this is fairly obvious, your roommate is clearly insane.
>Few sandwiches short of a picnic. Few sausages (snags for my fellow
>Aussie mailers) short of a barbecue. I don't think I'm overstating the
>case here.
> But how to cope with it? Short of a *unfortunate* accident with one of
>Colin's teddy bears (complete with handy knife)- and frankly who needs
>all that inconvenience and inevitable explanations so close to the end
>of the school year - it seems to me your only choice is Stash's
>Step-by-step Guide to Becoming a PG Fan.
> 1. *Accidentally* remove the tv aerial so your roommate can only watch
>videos.
> 2. In a bizarre full moon ritual, burn all videos except PG ones.
>However DO NOT burn her Spice Girls video. (of course she has one)
>You'll need it later.
> 3. Pull out that Spice Girls video (told you) and literally *pull out*
>the ribbons of tape from the plastic case. Cut the tape into long
>rope-like lengths. (Note: Colin's bear-kife could come in handy here)
> 4. While she is sleeping or otherwise incapicitated (perhaps alcohol
>or illict drugs will come in handy here if she's a light sleeper), tie
>her to her bed using strands of Spice Girls video.
> 5. Position her head towards TV, wake her up by humming PG theme
>full-bore into her ear, gaffer tape her mouth shut and press *play* on
>VCR: PG episode one. Only about 20 hours to go! (invitation to willing
>geek with time on hands to do the maths and work out exactly how many
>hours)
> 6. It's probably best to leave the room, only returning when it's time
>to change tapes. It can be disturbing to watch. (her, not the show,
>fools)
> 7. As the final moments of TAC play out on the screen, return to
>witness a wonderous new person: A PG fan.
> 8. Accept her undying gratitude.
> 9. Sign her up to the PGML, where she'll meet many PG fans *created* in
>the same way.
>
>Stash, fondly remembering her conversion to PG. Remember? Hell, the
>lawsuit is still pending.
>
>-Liisa!
>> I can be me! I was me once for Halloween.
>> --Police Academy, the Series
>By the way, I love the signature.
>
>--
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>
>
-----
"Today is the first day of the rest of my life, and I'm horribly confused
already." --Lynda Day
--
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